Getting off subject....

To have a conversation with me would be like this....

Random Thought #1
School is ending fast and we are on our last week of regular classes. Next week are Finals and stress are building high, anxieties are building, and i can just feel the whole WORLD moving. Well, not literally.
Anyway, not only do i have my life(family) and academics to worry about, I am also in the process of applying to a private college and applying into their program. Sometimes, i feel like I'm the only one struggling, and i have it the hardest but when i think about it, i know that there are many more students out there in this world, who has it worst than me. sigh, this relieves me a bit but still, this is mine. My challenge and or hardship.

Random Thoughts #2
Its funny how we build up all these skills and knowledge, and pay thousands of dollars to continue at these institute, only to find out that we have set up the rest of our life to be working zombies with a HUGE debt to pay. The thought of trying to fit into society, and catch a glimpse of the American dream and or at least live 1/100th of the American dream is what motivates every cells in our body to strive and thrive. I mean oh sure, there is an easy way out in this world. Quitting is always EASIER than trying. Why not?!

Random Thoughts #3
Let us give up, and live like our ancestors did, like savages, hunters and gatherers. Only, in today's society, we'd all be visiting the homeless shelter or live in subsidized housing, work jobs that pays minimum wages, and survive with the aid of governmental supplement. OK, I understand that there are people out there who really cannot help their selves, and need the help of the government and then, i know that there are those who wants to sit on their butts even though they're very capable, and lives off the system. That kind of lifestyle isn't what i have planned or have in mind.

Random Thoughts #4

You and I both know that if we quit now, we'll regret it someday. I believe that it is our future that motivates us to keep going. Err-- well at least mine does for me. Coming into this world at an disadvantage, i have to work harder. Being the first generation in my family to be American born, and go to college, can be very challenging. Well all my siblings are in college, has graduated from college, or are in the process of finishing college. I mean, I'm very proud of my older siblings, and of the rules and advocation that my parents has set and given us children, in their house-when we still live there. I'm happy to see and know that my parents value education. Its ok if i don't become a millionaire, and or own or work the BIG and HIGH position in the corporate world. I don't think I would want all the responsibility anyways. Id much rather be working somewhere where I know that I don't have to work a crappy job or as hard and yet get pay pretty well. I'm fine with making $80k to $100k annually.  I just want to be able to provide for my family, and have some change left over for--anything.

To end it:

Anywho, i think we have gotten off subject far enough, and i did promise to blog once or twice a week, so here it is. Sorry if this isn't what a blog should be like... Adios!

My dad always said, "Time is money" and "A bag of knowledge is worth more than a bag of money" in other words, "Knowledge is power"....

Navigating

Hi,

So i know its been awhile since I've blogged, but, sigh... I've been busy busy busy BUSY. One thing about being a student in college is, I am ALWAYS, and when i say always, i mean i am ALWAYS worried, about my homework, quiz, exam, and studying. Its like, I'm filled with anxieties all the time. i don't know if any other college student experiences this, but, sigh, i do and its not an easy feeling. When will there ever be a time of relief? i mean even between breaks of semesters, i try to settle in, relax, and just have the hugest brain fart ever, but it doesn't settle in as easy. it takes time, it takes time to re-condition myself to thinking, "OK, its over now, you can relax." And taking time sucks, because two weeks is not enough time. By the time i have settle a bit and have just gotten the habit of relaxing, its like someone pulled the trigger and said, "nope, times up, its time to hit anxieties again, LETS MOVE IT." Sheese...... Of course i can easily give up and do other things, but this is more of a "need and want" then a "have to" situation here. 

On the other hand, there is a positive side to this anxiety building-- thingy?!.... this might be a bit cliche', but like that quote, "Pray for the worst, hope for the best, and expect the unexpected" by anonymous, which is what life is kinda like for me. Well, kinda i guess, when i am at my wits end. i mean i don't go through life, doing stuff half-a$$. Who would, especially when its SUPER tedious, time consuming, and it cost tons..... Any who, back to my point, i get great gratification when i achieve. i actually feel like my brain got bigger.... (literally, your brain is fully developed when you are 20, and its not getting any bigger) Its very rewarding and satisfying when i know that i am on the right track and i am  understanding the materials. I'm not saying there isn't a time of down time for me, believe me there are. Its just that i try not to be too hard on myself and resort to self-destruct, i pick myself up, get my act together, and see where i went wrong, what i am not understanding, and where and what i need to concentrate a little more on.  However, I'm not going to lie, i LOVE college. if elementary through high school had the same concept of teaching and class scheduling, i believe that so many students would actually want to participate in scholar institutes. Overall, the VERY first two years of college i believer are the hardest two years. why? i believe that it is because of the broad topic that a converging adolescent has to cover, let alone transitioning, that makes it super hard. Kinda like getting dropped off in the middle of the dessert with a map, food and water, and told to find your way to point B. it could be easy if you knew how to navigate your way around that dessert or easily utilize your resources, but if you dont, it can get pretty ugly.But once you have reached point B, you are more then ever, more familliar with what road you want to take in life..... And so you are wondering, where am i in this abyss? i am proud to say that after 5 years, i have arrived at destination B. what took me so long??? stay tune....... :)

-Karissa MLYang